no, he came in my armpit
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
