That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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