the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
