new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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