just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
