I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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