Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
