Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
