i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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