she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
