I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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