yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
