she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
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Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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