so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is the high leading the old right now
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
