I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize