I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
