I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
