Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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