Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize