used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
