you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
