I cockslap morals
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
