I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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