i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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