Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
