those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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