Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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