dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
