tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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