Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
