I can tuck mytits in my pants
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
