I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm just crazy horny about you
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
