Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
