She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize