I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize