I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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