Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
