i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
