Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
