Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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