so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this will be a night to untag.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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