k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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