where does the pee come out of this thing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
