I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
