The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
