i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
