Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
