their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
