and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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