After last night, I could never be a politician.
one might say we're banned from that church
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
