Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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