they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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