I need help removing her.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
