I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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