All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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