no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
there was a trapeze. enough said
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
