Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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