Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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