the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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