I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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