I molested 6 butterflies tonight
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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