Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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