tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize