i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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