a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
