You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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