Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.