I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize