Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.

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  (859): Your vagina is a self cleaning oven. http://tfl.nu/z5bn
  Replies (11) Good night (1162) Bad night (661)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?

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  (815): should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here? http://tfl.nu/0w0h
  Replies (23) Good night (5266) Bad night (2341)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me

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  (440): Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me http://tfl.nu/mmr9
  Replies (17) Good night (1258) Bad night (3301)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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  (517): All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/gnt9
  Replies (12) Good night (3423) Bad night (1614)
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  (760): View more from California

  Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

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  (760): Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland. http://tfl.nu/5y5k
  Replies (11) Good night (4037) Bad night (732)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".

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  (270): We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots". http://tfl.nu/6unx
  Replies (10) Good night (2579) Bad night (725)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox

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  (734): nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox http://tfl.nu/ge10
  Replies (4) Good night (1311) Bad night (606)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....

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  (248): His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice.... http://tfl.nu/0jbe
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1357)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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  (412): It was like giving head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/0gn3
  Replies (14) Good night (621) Bad night (2054)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers

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  (201): So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers http://tfl.nu/32bd
  Replies (11) Good night (609) Bad night (1218)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drink to make the karaoke go away.

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  (610): I drink to make the karaoke go away. http://tfl.nu/0jio
  Replies (6) Good night (974) Bad night (432)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.

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  (814): I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win. http://tfl.nu/livq
  Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (512)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?

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  (732): You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/m097
  Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (403)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.

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  (706): He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex. http://tfl.nu/pzxj
  Replies (5) Good night (1976) Bad night (513)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous

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  (703): Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous http://tfl.nu/29cn
  Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (484)

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