His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
